There she sat, observing, engaging, and contemplating. Her heart hurt for those she saw, and she fought tears as the reality of compassion hit her like a ton of bricks. There, in the middle of that mall food court, the Lord met her and reignited the flame within, the fire to be a voice for the voiceless, a testimony of His goodness, and a heart willing to feel what the Father feels. Her heart sobbed with the depth of what her Papa felt for the woman her eyes rested upon. She was tall, beautiful, full of life, and disabled, by worldly standards. Her mental illness was evident, and yet her life and energy was all the young girl saw. The heart of Papa collapsed, weeping over what the world was missing in this woman. The young girl watched those around her; they did not hide their gazes as the woman made immature sounds and giggles, and their looks of annoyance and disgust were quite evident. It broke the young girls heart to watch this woman’s staff member sit at a different table, away from the woman, and text on her phone, occasionally looking up to make sure her client was okay. Oh, what she was missing. Tears spilled onto the table in front of her as she closed her eyes and listened to the pain that comes with compassion. “I created her with a purpose. I have good plans for her, and I gave her gifts. If only they could see the light and joy I planted in her,” Papa groaned. “I love her. I love her. I died for her. I created her. I adore her. She’s special, no matter what the world sees.” His heart overtook her as she watched this woman laugh at the smallest things. There was something this woman understood that the young girl herself did not. “Do not take life so serious,” He whispered; “I created you to laugh and sing.” Heaviness overtook her as she continued to feel the weight of Jesus’ compassion for the weak. “It hurts Papa,” her heart bellowed. “Let it. Let it sink in. My love is all consuming, and this is what I feel for those I love,” He whispered back. “I have given you my heart. Let it move you to tears. Let it move you to action. Do not shut down your ability to feel Me because it hurts. It is a gift, and with it, you will move mountains, for My love is relentless.”

His compassion is relentless.

It took all I had not to openly sob in that mall food court as I watched the world miss out on the beauty in front of them. In past seasons of my life I have quenched the compassion of Christ within me. It’s embarrassing to cry your eyes out in public on a regular basis, and it is painful to always be moved by what God is moved by. But I have decided that no more will I ignore the weight of compassion because with the depth of compassion comes the tears, from the tears comes the prayer, and through the prayer and action, mountains move. The Lord has gifted His Bride with the ability to KNOW His heart, to know with greater revelation what He is moved by, and let me tell you My Darling, He is moved by you. We serve a God who is moved to tears by His creation. Our God is moved to action by His great love for us. He was so greatly moved that He came and died in our place. My heart is blown away by that revelation again and again, and I will spend my days preaching that one thing alone. Apart from the Gospel, I have nothing. The simple fact that Jesus gave His life for me proves that He is a God of love, willing to go to any lengths for me, and wanting relationship so deeply. I feel we are in a season that God is opening up hearts to KNOW Him. I do not simply mean to understand Him; I mean to truly know the depths of who He is. I love the Spanish words for “to know,” and it greatly applies here. Saber means to know, but it means to understand with our knowledge, to know a fact, to know the answer to a test question. This is not how God desires His Bride know Him. Conocer means to know, to be acquainted with, to be familiar with a person, and to know a place because you have been there and seen it with your own eyes. “Yo conozco mi Papa, y el me conoce.” “I know my God, and He knows me.” I KNOW Him. I am familiar with Him because my heart has seen Him, my ears have heard Him, and I walk with Him. This season is one where people will come to conocer the Lord. We do a good job with saber. We know the facts of God. Many Christians can preach the Gospel well, but they do not conocer it themselves. I do not know about you, but I want to spend my days getting to know the heart of God. I want to walk with Him. I want to be overcome by His compassion in the mall food court. I want to be willing to cry because He does. I also want to be willing to do something about it. Today I was moved by His heart for that woman the world calls disabled. Tomorrow I want to get up and sit with her, to love on her, and share a meal with her. I left that mall food court and instantly knew He wanted me to do something with that compassion stir He gave me, and I didn’t. “Lord, forgive me for falling short.”

His compassion is relentless.

Tears streamed down her face as she walked on the trail, enjoying the sunshine with her daughter. “I am so sorry I didn’t do something today,” she breathed to her Papa. “It’s okay Child,” He whispered back; “I know you will next time, and you did something today whether you feel it or not. You allowed Me to consume you, and you cried for her, you were moved to tears by My heart for the least of these, and you allowed a fire to start in you to do something for the special needs community around you.” She stood by the side of the woods breathing in the stillness, quietly in tune with the move of the Spirit around her. Since she took in her special needs cousin almost three years ago, her fire had died because of the daily grind it takes to raise someone with intellectual special needs, and with her fire had gone her love. Her love for this girl was so low, that it was hard for her to enjoy being around her let alone take care of her. In the past week she had felt the Lord restoring that love, and in the mall food court that morning, a new level of fiery compassion and overwhelming love flooded back. If His heart was moved that much by the woman in the mall, how His heart must be moved by Vanessa, and how her heart could be moved again. Tears poured from her face and her voice broke as she recorded a message for one of her best friends describing what God was doing in her heart and asking for prayer. “There has to be more. There must be more than mediocre group homes and day programs, staff that sit on their phones, and a lack of funding to make real change. There must be more,” she cried out. Her heart was outraged just thinking of how little people saw the least of these and by the lack of  programs available. The dream was reignited in her: a coffee shop, bakery, farm, and gardens that could employ those with special needs; places that would give them purpose and peace; places that were people focus not money centered. Places that were people centered: all people welcome and loved as equal regardless of abilities. The past week had been filled with meetings and research about what Vanessa’s options are post high school. Her heart wasn’t satisfied with any of those options, and her mind longed for resources to dream up better solutions. “One day,” she thought, “one day doors will open.” For now, she would love Vanessa, raise her in her home, and continue to fight for resources and programs to help her thrive. The words of the special needs worker from two years ago still rang through her mind. “I’m sorry. We cannot give the resources for that program. We have what she needs here. We are not here to grow her. We are her to maintain her skills. That is our job.” Oh, how her heart hated these words. No! Our goal as humanity is to raise people, all people regardless of abilities, to thrive. It takes a village, and that is what she vowed to create: a village that would raise the unwanted. Tears stained her shirt as she sat, sobbing, consumed once again by His compassion for those in front of her. 

His compassion is relentless.

Allow yourself to feel Darling; allow yourself to feel the depths of compassion. Do not dare grow hardened to the point that you cannot cry in His presence. I went through a season for the past two years that I could not cry in His presence. I could not feel Him, didn’t want to try, and grew deeply angry because of how hurt I felt. Anger is always a secondary emotion. For me, I was angry because I was actually so sad that if I had allowed myself to feel it, I would have been crushed. A prophet I heard speak went through a similar season of torment and trials, and the words he said still resonate with my being. “We will never ask why.” I asked why for so long, but when I listened to him say we never ask why, I knew why. He went through that trial so that he could grow and see more clearly on the other side. He would not have the authority he currently has had he not walked that season of life. I would not have the fire I have, nor the passion to see people KNOW God had I not struggled so deeply with my identity and the identity of my Father for that season. Darling, rest. This too shall pass. It is a season. Allow yourself to feel the hurt.  Allow the tears to flow, and allow yourself to meet God as a comforter in your place of weakness. He is peace to the brokenhearted. I prayed for breakthrough for those two years, and nothing happened. When that breakthrough came, I had done nothing. God simply showed up. I will be grateful for all eternity for that season because it grew me in ways I cannot express, and God met me in my weakness. I was not happy in that time, but I am so thankful now that I am seeing the fruit of why. As I walked that trail today, tears streaming while I choked through that message for my friend, I stood in awe, soaking up every second, and loving the intimacy that comes with feeling God’s heart for those around me. Oh, how I had missed the depths of feeling His heart for those He created. I will devote my life to His cause. I will devote my life to walking with Him, talking with Him, and being consumed by Him. I always want to feel His compassion and pure, radical passion for those around me, for His compassion is relentless.

His compassion is relentless.

Her eyes were drawn to the setting of the sun, taking in the deep, long rays as they grazed Earth’s surface, casting shadows and filling the world with a sweet glow of orange. Her eyes shone with wonder as she walked, dreaming with her Father about His plans for Vanessa and those like her. “You see Child, the difference with how I think verse how the world thinks is radical. There is no comparison. In that mall food court the public saw that woman as disabled, where I see her as differently-able and differently gifted. There are things I bestowed to her that I have given no one else,” He declared. Her heart understood this, for Vanessa radiated gifts that opened her eyes to His goodness daily. “Differently-abled, fully capable, and worthy of love,” He said, “that is how I have made them. I have great plans for all who walk with Me.” Oh, how she loved walking and talking with her Papa. He was so good to her, and His presence filled her with wonder. “They are all worthy of love,” He whispered, “and, so are you my Darling. So are you. My love for you is relentless. Spend forever with me Beloved, forever,” He proposed. “Yes,” her heart shouted, “yes Jesus, yes!”

2 thoughts on “Relentless Compassion

  1. So grateful for your beautiful expression of our Father. Words are incomplete, but He’s given you the ability to shape them into the outline of His heart. Your writing reminds me of His love when I forget how sweet it is. Thank you, LORD – my romantic husband, my fierce protector, the one who saved me and gave me a new life worth living ❤
    Love you, Sister.

    Like

  2. Words are always limited, but God has given you the ability to shape them into the outline of His heart. Your writing reminds me of His love whenever I forget how sweet it is.
    Thank you, LORD – my romantic husband, my fierce protector, the one who gave me a new life worth living.
    Love you, Sister. Thank you for saying “yes” and shouting aloud His proposal for all of us. ❤

    Like

Leave a Reply to JB1042 Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s