The world stood still as a blanket of white coated the street outside her window. She smiled as she sat in the warmth of her room listening to the bursts of wind that enveloped their quaint home in the center of town. There were perks to being up at four in the morning. Silence is golden, and she basked in the moments of peace with her little girl upon her chest. Her gaze met that of a tiny smiling face as she glanced down. “Well, I guess we aren’t going back to sleep,” she shrugged. She scooped Ellie up and glided quietly down the stairs as her husband and other daughter slept soundly in the rooms above. The front door rattled as a large gust of wind swept through the rows of houses, piling snow and leaves leftover from fall in all the nooks and crannies of her neighborhood. She snuggled herself into the soft couch as she pulled her daughter up to her face and kissed her on the nose. “Boop! You such a pretty baby, you know that right?” She whispered in her daughters tiny ear as she smiled back at her. Oh how her heart delighted in these moments. The hour continued on, and the baby began to fuss as sleep called her name. She stood and bounced her as the lullaby played. They spun and swayed to the lyrics, “the sun rose on the day you were born, and the colors in the sky was like the heaven in your eyes. The earth sang and the stars looked to see another child of God begin a destiny. Oh the places you will go and things you’ll do. History is waiting for you.” Tears streamed from her eyes as her heart echoed those words over her sweet baby girl. “Oh the places you will go and things you’ll do. History is waiting for you. History is waiting for you.” 

History is waiting for you Little One.

There’s nothing in the world that compares to being a mother. I know the first weeks can be a great struggle for some, and I know the adjustment can be very trying. I thank God that He is a God of equipping and being strong in our weakness, and I thank Him that my entrance into having a little one was far more smooth than I could have imagined. My daughter was born a little over two months ago, and what the Lord has worked in me since her birth is still far beyond words. I do not understand the fullness of what has happened, but I am seeing bits and pieces of His goodness in it. It feels as though my entire paradigm has shifted, and I have yet to find words to explain what my heart is screaming. The depression and struggle is dealt with as a result of the years of issues we have been having with our adopted daughter was broken the day Eliana entered this world. The year I spent in torment, panic attacks, questions, doubts, fears, and anger melted away the day she was born. I spent a year mad at God, questioning His goodness due to circumstances that were going on with Vanessa. The core of that struggle was feeling as though God wasn’t there, that He wasn’t seeing or hearing me, and that He had left my side. Clearly, being raised in the Church, I knew these things to be false, and I knew He never left me, but while my head understood, my heart was angry and hurt. As I carried Eliana, I deeply felt she would bring healing. She carries a gift of healing and grace, pouring out God’s mercy and fierce compassion on all she encounters. She confirmed this as her very life shook my world in the best possible way.

History is waiting for you little one.

The tears poured as the voice of her Papa rang through the room, whipping around as the snow swirled outside. “Baby Girl, just as your heart moves at the sight of your little one, so does my heart move at the sight of you Beloved. I have heard you. I have seen you. I hear you now. I see you now. I always will. History is waiting for YOU. I am not finished with you yet. I have been pursing you your entire life.” “Thank you Papa,” her heart screamed. “Thank you for who you are and for my family. Thank you for the most amazing husband who constantly reflects you, and thank you for this little life you have entrusted me with, this child that I get the privilege of raising.” Oh sweet Eliana. Her eyes were drawn to her sleeping baby, content against her chest, full of peace and grace. “Eliana she whispered. Thank you Papa. You were always there, and she is a constant reminder of Your faithfulness.” “Yes she is,” He echoed. “Her name will always be a reminder of that.” Eliana: God has heard me; God has answered me. “History is waiting for you Darling. Run free. Run free.”

History is waiting for you little one. It is waiting for you.

Run free ❤

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