Life with a special needs child can be a roller coaster at times. One day it seems as though things couldn’t get worse; behaviors have increased for the worse, and nothing has changed with medication or nutrition so you are at a loss for what is going on. Then all of a sudden she’s back to normal: happy, go lucky, joyful, and calm. You begin to question what you are doing. You’re in far too deep, but your heart is aligned with the Fathers, and you know He wouldn’t stop pursuing healing. He wouldn’t stop fighting because He gave His life for the one, for the one sitting in front of Him, so if He gave His life to love them so will you, regardless of what you see, regardless of how hopeless you feel, regardless of what the roller coaster seems.
I thank Jesus that He made a way we could walk on water. When we are so prone to sink, so familiar with failing, He made it possible to walk above it all. The disciples saw Him walking towards their boat. They turned to one another freaking out because they thought they were seeing a ghost. As He got closer He said, “Take courage. Do not be afraid, for it is I.” Peter questioned Him asking, “Lord if it is you, tell me to come to you.” Jesus whispered, “come.” And Peter walked on water.
He whispers come to me daily. When that roller coaster takes a drastic turn which evolves into a heart wrenching drop that I’m not sure I will come back up from, He whispers, “come.” Come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest. Come to Me for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Peter walked out to Jesus on the water, keeping His eyes on the Lord. For a split second he saw the waves below him; he heard the roar of the wind, and fear swept over him. He began to sink and cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus caught him. “Why did you fear son?”
Why do you fear? What have we to fear when our God has already conquered this world. Oh how I fear some days. Oh how I doubt and struggle to keep my head above those waves; sometimes they look so tall; the depths of those waters full of demise and despair. I flail as water begins to cover my head. Up and down I bob as I struggle to catch a breath. Jesus! Save me! Immediately He reaches out. Immediately.
That is the best word in that entire passage of Matthew. Immediately after Peter called to Jesus for help he was saved. Immediately as I call His name, He shows up. He invades the situation and brings abundant life. Trials produce abundance in our relationship with Him as long as we cry to Him for help instead of crying to Him blaming Him for what we are walking through. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do” (James 1:2-8).
Oh how I long to never be like that wave tossed in the sea. I long to always keep my eyes on Jesus, walking on the waters side by side with Him, my first love. Yet, the times I stumble and fall into the waves are the times I tend to see who He is again. “Lord,” Peter cried out, “save me!” Lord He cried. Lord. In those waves Peter saw Him for who He is. He is our Lord, our savior. These waves produce a good in me and a glory to His name, so I will praise Him in the storm, for He is my Lord.
If the stars praise Him, so will I.
If the waves submit to Him, so will I.
If He gave His life for the children of this world, so will I.
If He gave His life for the child that sends my life in a roller coaster some days, so will I.
So will I.
***Update on Guatemala- Sean and I have the privilege to lead 10 youth to Guatemala this coming January!! 🙂 We are so excited to see what God does in and through us as a team. Please pray for us in this endeavor and pray for the youth that they may come to KNOW Him. We were planning to bring Vanessa along, to let her experience a new culture and land, however, due to some complicated issues with her birth certificate, we were not able to get a passport for her, and it will take too long to reapply for all the papers she needs before we go. Pray with us she can come on the next trip we take. Thank you!!